I'm nearly afraid to say it out loud but the tax return is done AT LAST!! It only took me several weeks of searching handbags for scraps of paper, hunting through bank accounts, bank statements, invoices and finding envelopes of receipts in different places. Any accountant reading this will be disgusted at my lack of organisational skills, financial know how and lack of planning!
This is typical behaviour for 'Deirdre Procrastinator Extraordinaire'! I was always the one sitting up to 2 and 3am the night before exams cramming or writing the assignment the night before it was due at school and university.
People often do not realise the amount of preparation and planning that goes into every Sign2Music class, especially in the first term. Knowing this never encouraged me to have the bag packed a week before like other sensible people would do! No no, I always 'faff about' and leave most things to do the night before once the children are in bed, often staying up 'til 2am or later!
The tax return has been hanging over my head for months. I knew how much preparation was going to be involved in getting everything ready to submit it. It is such a small thing in my busy life, not something I want to prioritise or focus too much attention on. However, it really has become a huge mountain that I have had to climb to allow me to focus on the 'big things' I have planned for Sign2Music.
Running a small business is a very fulfilling role and has been one of the most amazing learning experiences for me. It is also a time and life consuming role, especially, like me if you have a job and a family too! A small business owner has to be an expert on so many things, not only the field in which they are operating: computer skills, social media, book keeping, PR, marketing, organising, planning, networking, communicating, to name only a few! We do not have a personnel department, communications department, finance department and a collection of policies and procedures to refer to!
I have never employed an accountant or any other business or personal support services as I always say I can't afford to and can easily do everything myself. I have now realised I can't afford not to! The amount of time, effort and stress preparing for today would not have been necessary had I approached it like an organised business woman would! Had I completed this months ago there are so many things I could have been doing instead!
Promise to myself! This year...new me! I have already started recording as I go along, clearing out my purse and filing and recording receipts regularly. I have accepted the support offered by my husband and 15 year old IT whizz son! My books will be sent to my accountant in April /May and I can say goodbye to another small thing and put it into the hands of an expert!
I would say I am now going to sit back and relax, but there is the small matter of my house! Anyone fancy cleaning it for me!? ;-)
Deirdre :)
Thursday, 26 January 2012
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
One for the Dads
We are very lucky to have lots of dads attend our Sign2Music classes. Too often preschool classes are predominated by mums. Not ours! It helps that many of our classes are at weekends so are accessible to more family members - mums, dads, grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and siblings!
Modern research emphasises the importance of the mother - child bond in building the foundations for sound relationships in adult life. However, this does not take away from the important roles fathers can play in the lives of their children.
Unfortunately dads are often overlooked in parenting discussions. One of my colleagues told me that when his son was a baby a health professional visited the house on a regular basis in the early days. While he was present every time, all the discussion and advice was addressed to his partner. He described how disempowering this felt.
With this in mind I was delighted when I came across this wonderful video by the American Actor and rapper Tray Chaney, focusing on fatherhood:
I am not a rap fan but this is a beautiful song with meaningful lyrics and a great video.
I heard about Tray from my friend and author of ' the Blossom Method', Vivien Sabel. I was very touched and moved to receive a tweet on Twitter from 'the man' himself!
I wish Tray every success with this song. I really hope the popularity of this song increases even further and continues to promote the roles of fathers everywhere!
Deirdre :)
Monday, 16 January 2012
My Promise to You
As you all know Sign2Music is not a job to me, it is my passion, my chance to live my dream by helping everyone share the huge benefits and massive joy that can be gained by the use of signing.
As a business Sign2Music has a Vision Statement. My vision for the future is this:
1. For signing with babies and children to be mainstream in families, nurseries and school and to be accessible to everyone.
2. For Sign2Music to be a popular and respected name, providing high quality programmes and products throughout Northern Ireland and beyond.
Our Mission Statement, ie, how we achieve these aims is:
1. We provide high quality programmes throughout Northern Ireland.
2. We work to raise awareness of the benefits of signing with all babies and children and to produce useful, affordable and accessible products.
Sounds a bit lovely dovey, but that's me, heart rules my head! I have been on a 3 day training event recently which has made me realise a lot of things about how I run Sign2Music. Because it is my passion, I have not treated it enough as a business and sometimes find the 'money part' uncomfortable, which I realise is a disservice to Sign2Music and to you! I have often felt like using the word business somehow diminishes the values and beliefs that drive what I do. I have put my everything into trying to reach as many people as possible, spreading myself too thinly. As a result I have not done everything I should have.
Well, here and now I am going to commit to actions in 2012! Here goes....gulp!
1. I will produce the long awaited Sign2Music Vol. 2 CD.
2. I will produce record a Sign2Music DVD
3. I will facilitate an open training event for nursery / childcare professionals
4. I will ensure Sign2Music covers as large an area as possible by recruiting more Sign2Music Licensed Teachers.
5. I will produce materials so that those unable to attend Sign2Music classes can still access our services.
There I've written it down, not just on my computer but for you all to keep as evidence to hold me to account! Hope I don't live to regret this, lol!
I am really really excited about what lies ahead for Sign2Music for 2012. I promise to work hard to for you all and hope that the amazing support for Sign2Music from you all that drives me onwards continues this year. Thank you all!
Deirdre x
As a business Sign2Music has a Vision Statement. My vision for the future is this:
1. For signing with babies and children to be mainstream in families, nurseries and school and to be accessible to everyone.
2. For Sign2Music to be a popular and respected name, providing high quality programmes and products throughout Northern Ireland and beyond.
Our Mission Statement, ie, how we achieve these aims is:
1. We provide high quality programmes throughout Northern Ireland.
2. We work to raise awareness of the benefits of signing with all babies and children and to produce useful, affordable and accessible products.
Sounds a bit lovely dovey, but that's me, heart rules my head! I have been on a 3 day training event recently which has made me realise a lot of things about how I run Sign2Music. Because it is my passion, I have not treated it enough as a business and sometimes find the 'money part' uncomfortable, which I realise is a disservice to Sign2Music and to you! I have often felt like using the word business somehow diminishes the values and beliefs that drive what I do. I have put my everything into trying to reach as many people as possible, spreading myself too thinly. As a result I have not done everything I should have.
Well, here and now I am going to commit to actions in 2012! Here goes....gulp!
1. I will produce the long awaited Sign2Music Vol. 2 CD.
2. I will produce record a Sign2Music DVD
3. I will facilitate an open training event for nursery / childcare professionals
4. I will ensure Sign2Music covers as large an area as possible by recruiting more Sign2Music Licensed Teachers.
5. I will produce materials so that those unable to attend Sign2Music classes can still access our services.
There I've written it down, not just on my computer but for you all to keep as evidence to hold me to account! Hope I don't live to regret this, lol!
I am really really excited about what lies ahead for Sign2Music for 2012. I promise to work hard to for you all and hope that the amazing support for Sign2Music from you all that drives me onwards continues this year. Thank you all!
Deirdre x
Friday, 30 December 2011
My very own 'Twin Study'
As a result of some discussions recently on Twitter I decided to use my last blog of 2011 to talk about some of my experiences of being a twin mummy. Most of you are aware I am the proud mummy of twins, my son Eoghan and my daughter Aine, now aged 15 (16 in April 2012, eek!)
They were born in 1996 when I was in the middle of my postgraduate Social Work training. I had already completed a degree and masters in Psychology so it's fair to say I was interested in how being different sex twins would affect their socialisation and development. The little babies had no idea they were going to be subjects of their mum's experiments even before they were born!
When I was atQueens there was research being undertaken in the Psychology Dept on prenatal responsiveness by Peter Hepper **. I remember being fascinated with the discovery that newborn babies who had been exposed to a specific TV theme tune as foetuses (Neighbours!) responded to this hearing this tune by exhibiting changes in heart rate, number of movements, and behavioural state! During my pregnancy the 'Mozart Effect' was widely debated, i.e., the idea that hearing classical music while in the womb affects developing babies cognitive development. Wanting to give the twins the best start I could I made a tape of classical music and played in on my stereo every night, holding the speakers to my belly to be sure the babies could hear it! It was obvious they did as there was a flurry of activity when the music started!
I have absolutely no idea if the music affected their cognitive development (although they are both very academically capable) but it definitely was remembered by them after they were born. We were in hospital for a week after their birth (that wouldn't happen now!). The first night I got home I put my classical music tape on when they were becoming unsettled. The results truly shocked me! As soon as the music started, both babies stopped crying immediately. It was very clear by their reactions that they recognised the sound. For the next few days I played the music every time they were upset and it comforted them. It only lasted for a short time but it was still fascinating to see that not only can babies hear in the womb but they find those familiar sounds comforting!
I had always been interested in the nature vs nurture debate and the impact of socialisation on children. I believed that nurture had the greatest impact on children's sense of identity. I saw the range of toys available for children and how they were categorised as male or female and was determined not to differentiate. My very traditional father was appalled when Eoghan got dolls to play with as a toddler and Aine got Lego and train set. I expected that how I 'nurtured' the twins, bringing them up in exactly the same environment, giving them the same toys to play with, treating them the same would result in their not adhering to traditional gender roles. How wrong was I?
I was soon very clear that, despite both children having access to all toys, Eoghan favoured the toys that would be seen as 'male' and Aine those seen as 'female'. Not only that, everyone commented on how Eoghan was a 'typical wee boy' and Aine a 'typical wee girl'. Eoghan loved climbing, rough and tumble play, building and making things. Aine on the other hand hated climbing and rough and tumble play and loved playing with dolls, role play and dressing up! My theory of socialisation and nurture having more impact than nature was turned on its head! I have no idea if this is because the children were born with a predisposition to certain characteristics and behaviours or due to other influences I had no control of, such as how they were treated by others, advertising, etc.
Eoghan and Aine continued to grow up as individuals who are as 'different as chalk and cheese' still displaying stereotypical 'male' and 'female' behaviours. As teenagers, Eoghan does not discuss his feelings (or much else for that matter!) and Aine discusses little else! However, they are both gentle, caring, well mannered and beautiful children. Aine will hug me for saying that and Eoghan will grunt!
Being the mother of twins is such a precious gift. The experience of their early years was so different than my subsequent experience of having a single child. They were a comfort blanket for each other on occasions like the first day of school (there were no tears or tantrums). The fact that they are different sexes meant that they were never really labelled as 'the twins' but had their own identities. They looked out for each other (and still do!), played together and fought with each other. They are now very close and I hope they will remain that way forever.
I can't believe my 'babies' are going to be 16 in 2012. My do I feel old!
Happy New Year everyone!
Deirdre xx
**(Hepper, P, G. An examination of foetal learning before and after birth. The Irish Journal of Psychology, Vol 12(2), 1991, 95-107)
They were born in 1996 when I was in the middle of my postgraduate Social Work training. I had already completed a degree and masters in Psychology so it's fair to say I was interested in how being different sex twins would affect their socialisation and development. The little babies had no idea they were going to be subjects of their mum's experiments even before they were born!
When I was at
I have absolutely no idea if the music affected their cognitive development (although they are both very academically capable) but it definitely was remembered by them after they were born. We were in hospital for a week after their birth (that wouldn't happen now!). The first night I got home I put my classical music tape on when they were becoming unsettled. The results truly shocked me! As soon as the music started, both babies stopped crying immediately. It was very clear by their reactions that they recognised the sound. For the next few days I played the music every time they were upset and it comforted them. It only lasted for a short time but it was still fascinating to see that not only can babies hear in the womb but they find those familiar sounds comforting!
I had always been interested in the nature vs nurture debate and the impact of socialisation on children. I believed that nurture had the greatest impact on children's sense of identity. I saw the range of toys available for children and how they were categorised as male or female and was determined not to differentiate. My very traditional father was appalled when Eoghan got dolls to play with as a toddler and Aine got Lego and train set. I expected that how I 'nurtured' the twins, bringing them up in exactly the same environment, giving them the same toys to play with, treating them the same would result in their not adhering to traditional gender roles. How wrong was I?
I was soon very clear that, despite both children having access to all toys, Eoghan favoured the toys that would be seen as 'male' and Aine those seen as 'female'. Not only that, everyone commented on how Eoghan was a 'typical wee boy' and Aine a 'typical wee girl'. Eoghan loved climbing, rough and tumble play, building and making things. Aine on the other hand hated climbing and rough and tumble play and loved playing with dolls, role play and dressing up! My theory of socialisation and nurture having more impact than nature was turned on its head! I have no idea if this is because the children were born with a predisposition to certain characteristics and behaviours or due to other influences I had no control of, such as how they were treated by others, advertising, etc.
Eoghan and Aine continued to grow up as individuals who are as 'different as chalk and cheese' still displaying stereotypical 'male' and 'female' behaviours. As teenagers, Eoghan does not discuss his feelings (or much else for that matter!) and Aine discusses little else! However, they are both gentle, caring, well mannered and beautiful children. Aine will hug me for saying that and Eoghan will grunt!
Being the mother of twins is such a precious gift. The experience of their early years was so different than my subsequent experience of having a single child. They were a comfort blanket for each other on occasions like the first day of school (there were no tears or tantrums). The fact that they are different sexes meant that they were never really labelled as 'the twins' but had their own identities. They looked out for each other (and still do!), played together and fought with each other. They are now very close and I hope they will remain that way forever.
I can't believe my 'babies' are going to be 16 in 2012. My do I feel old!
Happy New Year everyone!
Deirdre xx
**(Hepper, P, G. An examination of foetal learning before and after birth. The Irish Journal of Psychology, Vol 12(2), 1991, 95-107)
Sunday, 18 December 2011
The Importance of Being Accurate!
This article describes how a toddler group in York has decided to stop using the commonly used symbol for diamond as it is similar to the sign for female genitalia and could potenitally be offensive to deaf children or parents. This has caused a controversy similar to that caused when Justin Fletcher was accused of using a rude sign (the sign for happy in makaton is similar to the sign for f***ing in BSL).
Some people think this political correctness gone mad while others understand and support the decision of the toddler group. From experience I know how easy it is to change the meaning of a sign by altering the handshape, movement or orientation of the sign. Most people who have studied sign language will tell you a funny or embarrassing story about making a slight error that completely changed the meaning they were trying to convey.
People often find it hard to understand why I insist that our teachers have a qualification in sign language. The accuracy of the signs we use is very important to me and while we all make mistakes I want to do what I can to ensure signs are shown accurately in all our classes. Knowing our teachers are all trained in sign language not only helps our service users have confidence in the accuracy of the signs they are learning but gives them the flexibility to ask for additional signs.
Anyone who has been coming to Sign2Music classes for a number of years will tell you how many signs I have substituted since I first started to ensure accuracy and that I am using the most commonly used N Ireland regional versions of signs! No doubt we will continue to make mistakes and correct them, but we are trying our very best!
I would love to know your thoughts on the subject so feel free to share your comments.
Some people think this political correctness gone mad while others understand and support the decision of the toddler group. From experience I know how easy it is to change the meaning of a sign by altering the handshape, movement or orientation of the sign. Most people who have studied sign language will tell you a funny or embarrassing story about making a slight error that completely changed the meaning they were trying to convey.
People often find it hard to understand why I insist that our teachers have a qualification in sign language. The accuracy of the signs we use is very important to me and while we all make mistakes I want to do what I can to ensure signs are shown accurately in all our classes. Knowing our teachers are all trained in sign language not only helps our service users have confidence in the accuracy of the signs they are learning but gives them the flexibility to ask for additional signs.
Anyone who has been coming to Sign2Music classes for a number of years will tell you how many signs I have substituted since I first started to ensure accuracy and that I am using the most commonly used N Ireland regional versions of signs! No doubt we will continue to make mistakes and correct them, but we are trying our very best!
I would love to know your thoughts on the subject so feel free to share your comments.
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
Christmas is Comiing!
Christmas really is on it's way! Where did 2011 go to? It must have been the fastest year on record or I am simply getting old!
I had 2 wonderful Christmas parties this week in Ballynahinch and am in the middle of Christmas sessions galore! Our parties are so much fun. Some of the children really get into the swing of things by dressing up...and so do the teachers! We sing Christmas songs, read a Christmas story and of course have a visit by Signing Santa!
I love this time of year as it gives me the chance to dig out the multiple Christmas trees and boxes of decorations that I love to decorate my house with. And of course I get to sing Christmas songs once again! I LOVE them!!!
I made a couple of videos of Christmas songs last year and have added Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer to the collection this year.
I will be adding more over the coming weeks so keep an eye on our You Tube page. Why not subscribe and you will be e-mailed when I add a new video?
Have a very Happy Christmas everyone!
I had 2 wonderful Christmas parties this week in Ballynahinch and am in the middle of Christmas sessions galore! Our parties are so much fun. Some of the children really get into the swing of things by dressing up...and so do the teachers! We sing Christmas songs, read a Christmas story and of course have a visit by Signing Santa!
I love this time of year as it gives me the chance to dig out the multiple Christmas trees and boxes of decorations that I love to decorate my house with. And of course I get to sing Christmas songs once again! I LOVE them!!!
I made a couple of videos of Christmas songs last year and have added Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer to the collection this year.
Have a very Happy Christmas everyone!
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
Love is the Answer!
Being a mummy is, and always will be, the most important job I have ever had! I love my children more than life itself. I know how tough life can be and feel so responsible for giving them the best start I can in life. And what a rollercoaster ride it has been so far! Like all parents I have had many proud moments when I have given myself a pat on the back and felt proud that my efforts have paid off. I have also had many guilt-ridden moments where I beat myself up for not being a good enough parent!
I am not sure if my academic background and work experience have helped me as a parent or have got in the way. I have studied psychology and social work and spent the past 15 years working with young people who become involved in offending behaviour and their families. This is why I had a tape (oh yes, not a CD!) of classical music and played it to my tummy every night during my first pregnancy in the belief it would boost my children's cognitive development! It is also why Eoghan and Aine, as male and female twins were both given toys that would have been perceived as more appropriate for one sex (despite my father's serious disapproval!). And it is why my teenagers moan all the time about not being able to do things their friends are allowed to do!
When I started working with young people involved in offending and their families I began to really question the role the early years has on adult behaviour and family dynamics. Family therapy training made me explore my own family history and the how my parenting has impacted on my children.
I love watching how the babies we see in Sign2Music classes grow and develop into confident, loving and bright children. I love the amazing stories I hear about how signing has helped communication, bonding and development. I spend a lot of time discussing the benefits of signing for supporting communication and development. There is also a lot of information on the internet about these benefits.
The benefits of signing in supporting bonding has not been featured and researched to the same extent. I have a video on our You Tube channel showing how signing supports bonding with siblings Signing Supports Sibling Bonding
However, I cannot emphasise enough how important it is to nurture the bond between children and their caregivers!
A child's first relationship will have a significant impact on subsequent relationships throughout their lives. Current early years research reinforces this, even indicating that the first 18 months of life are the most critical in developing or preventing the propensity to violent /criminal behaviour in later life.
Much of a humans brain development takes place in the first 3 years of life. During this period of accelerated learning the number of synapses (brain connections) multiply 20 fold. Modern research indicates that early experiences can override genetics. A baby's potential is therefore based on the experiences in their early years. Early learned behaviour can be resistant to change and can be the foundation to adult behaviour. Stressful experiences wire a child's brain for stress and trauma. Loving experiences can wire their brain for loving relationships and experiences.
Connectness between a child and caregiver is the basis for the development of empathy. This means the nature of the child's first relationship, most often with the mother impacts on later emotional relationships:
This is a beautiful video featuring the The Still Face Experiment which demonstrates how important our interactions with our little ones are. Can you imagine the impact on a child if they experience the 'still face' during most of their interactions?
Reading all the research available to us in relation to child development can be mind blowing. Being a parent is hard enough without trying to ensure you are doing everything right. I have no doubt that signing with babies and children, music and other activities can help support your connection with your child. However, it is clear from all the research that the secret to well adjusted children is actually quite simple - LOVE them! Everything else is a bonus. Wow, I don't feel guilty any more!
I am not sure if my academic background and work experience have helped me as a parent or have got in the way. I have studied psychology and social work and spent the past 15 years working with young people who become involved in offending behaviour and their families. This is why I had a tape (oh yes, not a CD!) of classical music and played it to my tummy every night during my first pregnancy in the belief it would boost my children's cognitive development! It is also why Eoghan and Aine, as male and female twins were both given toys that would have been perceived as more appropriate for one sex (despite my father's serious disapproval!). And it is why my teenagers moan all the time about not being able to do things their friends are allowed to do!
When I started working with young people involved in offending and their families I began to really question the role the early years has on adult behaviour and family dynamics. Family therapy training made me explore my own family history and the how my parenting has impacted on my children.
I love watching how the babies we see in Sign2Music classes grow and develop into confident, loving and bright children. I love the amazing stories I hear about how signing has helped communication, bonding and development. I spend a lot of time discussing the benefits of signing for supporting communication and development. There is also a lot of information on the internet about these benefits.
The benefits of signing in supporting bonding has not been featured and researched to the same extent. I have a video on our You Tube channel showing how signing supports bonding with siblings Signing Supports Sibling Bonding
However, I cannot emphasise enough how important it is to nurture the bond between children and their caregivers!
A child's first relationship will have a significant impact on subsequent relationships throughout their lives. Current early years research reinforces this, even indicating that the first 18 months of life are the most critical in developing or preventing the propensity to violent /criminal behaviour in later life.
Much of a humans brain development takes place in the first 3 years of life. During this period of accelerated learning the number of synapses (brain connections) multiply 20 fold. Modern research indicates that early experiences can override genetics. A baby's potential is therefore based on the experiences in their early years. Early learned behaviour can be resistant to change and can be the foundation to adult behaviour. Stressful experiences wire a child's brain for stress and trauma. Loving experiences can wire their brain for loving relationships and experiences.
Connectness between a child and caregiver is the basis for the development of empathy. This means the nature of the child's first relationship, most often with the mother impacts on later emotional relationships:
‘The child’s first relationship, the one with the mother, acts as a template…[that] permanently moulds the individual’s capacity to enter into all later emotional relationships’ (Schore, 2000, via Wave Trust)
Reading all the research available to us in relation to child development can be mind blowing. Being a parent is hard enough without trying to ensure you are doing everything right. I have no doubt that signing with babies and children, music and other activities can help support your connection with your child. However, it is clear from all the research that the secret to well adjusted children is actually quite simple - LOVE them! Everything else is a bonus. Wow, I don't feel guilty any more!
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